This past week has been eventful, things that I've been putting effort in have finally paid off (i.e. waking up on the weekends for runs, studying etc)
So, the week kicked off with an exciting (sarcasm) deployment training RT and vehicle guiding till late at night kinda training, had some first hand interaction/(heart 2 heart) talk with our new PS, and we've learnt a lot of *ahem* interesting quirks he possesses. Apart from the frequenting of underaged-nudity-light-pornography that tethers on the edge of both statutory rape and pedophilia; sggirls.com as well as being a fan of infidelity which basically just made him a bastard, a normal, horny cheating bastard but an honest one.
On Thursday, I'm happy to say, that all my "physical fitness" obligations are officially cleared; 2nd Year SoC pass & IPPT Gold so up yours, "UFP", can't touch this~ After that, I headed over to NUS with my beloved tree burning oinkie from the foreign exotic southern land of a thousand island(not the salad sauce) to have my ISE tea session which turns out to be a rather informative session and an epiphany that my next 5 years will be spent mostly with PRCs, probably karma from all the foreigner-jokes I've made for the past few years but then again, fuck Karma, if Karma existed, most PRCs would have died by XXX from how much their own children smoke at a tender age equivalent to when Mozart first played the piano, oh wait....Contrary to popular belief (or rather, my impression), the seniors (or sophomores if you like it) from the ISE club (sophomores who spends time to help freshmen fit in and bond unlike their PRC counterparts, woohoo +2) turned out to be a rather approachable and friendly bunch of people who actually do step up and plan events/outings/etc for their fellow coursemates, and being a small (or rather exclusive club that is known to house only 40+ LOCAL ISE undergrads, ya know, cuz PRCs don't participate in club activities~+3) one would not risk the terrible plight of having too many people in one party, creating a logistical nightmare maelstrom that would drown everyone on board the metaphorical party boat that is fun.
Friday, duty, it's basically a talk cock session ending with me rambling non-stop about stories the borders on the lines of "people taking LSD and entering story telling contests" because I talk smack.
And THAT, is how we roll in 35~
Side note: you are so fake, so, so fake. I don't know why I even bother clinging on to the past when you've changed so much on the inside like kevin federline after britney spears removed him from her tit.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
3D2N exercise/ Rants
Conclusion for 3D2N Exercise:
One picture says it all, basically the highlight of our support for armour's proficiency test. And oh, canned luncheon meat is awesome in outfield.
Side note:
I hate it when the only way you can reach someone is through Facebook. Not by fucking sms, not by fucking calling your cell, not by msn chat (why bother putting "Available" when you're not there) but by Facebook. Seriously, if a friendship only exists within the virtual realms of a fuckiing social networking sites where your other 1000+ odd "acquaintances" (including the dickwad stalkers that you've just met at a party that you're too nice to simply ignore and it's just a way to get rid of the ever annoying friend request because they'd simply just send it again because if you were to block them, one of them might actually be a psycho which might splash acid on your face on your way home)are free to critique and comment on whatever mundane bullshit everyday activities or ranting or interactions between real (the last time i checked) friends, then I'd have turned out to be on the same level of those dickwad stalkers to you so fuck your obsession with shit Facebook reputation and self worth that you can obtain from pretty much fucked up unknown strangers, fuck your bullshit because the next time you'll only illicit a fucking reply from me, is through the mouth on my face, not the book.
One picture says it all, basically the highlight of our support for armour's proficiency test. And oh, canned luncheon meat is awesome in outfield.
Side note:
I hate it when the only way you can reach someone is through Facebook. Not by fucking sms, not by fucking calling your cell, not by msn chat (why bother putting "Available" when you're not there) but by Facebook. Seriously, if a friendship only exists within the virtual realms of a fuckiing social networking sites where your other 1000+ odd "acquaintances" (including the dickwad stalkers that you've just met at a party that you're too nice to simply ignore and it's just a way to get rid of the ever annoying friend request because they'd simply just send it again because if you were to block them, one of them might actually be a psycho which might splash acid on your face on your way home)are free to critique and comment on whatever mundane bullshit everyday activities or ranting or interactions between real (the last time i checked) friends, then I'd have turned out to be on the same level of those dickwad stalkers to you so fuck your obsession with shit Facebook reputation and self worth that you can obtain from pretty much fucked up unknown strangers, fuck your bullshit because the next time you'll only illicit a fucking reply from me, is through the mouth on my face, not the book.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Insert blank
Dear self, lull periods are awesome, you wake up you eat, you work out you sleep, amen. I don't know why most bitches complain having it though about their fucking national service despite being drivers/clerks/slack vocations, but it's definitely easier than being a bridging pioneer so bite the bullet and serve your 2 years, douchebags. Sigh, JR's right, fastforward 30 years into the future, my kids will be complaining about their 3 day field camps, 1 week confinements, lack of variety of fast foods available in camp.
Some days, I'd leave an anonymous note for you to make you happy. Kinda sad how people can only be honest behind the mask of anonymity. Give a man a mask, and he shall reveal what truly lies beneath.
I really do need to get out more often and socialize beyond my usual circles, I've exhausted my reserves of "novelty" and it's turning into a week of sausage fest. one after the other, sigh, but oh well at least it's a long weekend thanks to a 2000 year old cosmic jewish zombie who is his own father and can make you live forever if you telepathically accept him as your lord and savior.
happy zombie jesus day~
Some days, I'd leave an anonymous note for you to make you happy. Kinda sad how people can only be honest behind the mask of anonymity. Give a man a mask, and he shall reveal what truly lies beneath.
I really do need to get out more often and socialize beyond my usual circles, I've exhausted my reserves of "novelty" and it's turning into a week of sausage fest. one after the other, sigh, but oh well at least it's a long weekend thanks to a 2000 year old cosmic jewish zombie who is his own father and can make you live forever if you telepathically accept him as your lord and savior.
happy zombie jesus day~
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Earth hour 10. sleep deprivation and all sorts of other crap
Greetings self from the future, as you are reading this, you're most probably released (temporarily) from the clutches of your moral(and legal) obligations to serving your great motherland (HEIL MEIN SINGAPURA) and having it kick your freedom in the nuts several times before bashing its brains in with a baseball bat like the "Bear Jew".
Yesterday was one of the many days you were deprived of sleep, decent food and decent lodging (i.e. Bunk with the relative mozzie density comparable to the human density of Monaco). Also, you are constantly reminded that stereotypes are known as stereotypes for a reason and politically correct GP testers can suck on it for being fucking hypocrites. Somehow, I can sympathize with a particular austrian-born dictator with radical views and a kick-ass (as in geneva convention humane ass) dogma, but yeah, you know, oppression and systematically killing many many people is not a nice thing because who's gonna feed the cats when they're dead? (that was sarcasm, the cats, not the genocide)
Also (damn, I'm losing points for using so many "Also"s, but fuck GP anyway, it's over and done with), you're once again striking names out on the list of people that you can maintain confidentiality with because of an inherent need to bitch (which is scientifically proven to be good for your health).
Earth Hour 2010:
To all of your inner-hippies out there, Al gore is a douchebag, global warming is a natural process (we are merely speeding up the process, it's like giving mummy more cigarettes but you know she's gonna die eventually, so why not end off with a great big bang) and it ain't that bad too. Lastly, irony's a bitch, you douchebags killed more trees in your little advertising campaigns than a year's worthed of SME flyers distributed at Bedok Interchange.
Yesterday was one of the many days you were deprived of sleep, decent food and decent lodging (i.e. Bunk with the relative mozzie density comparable to the human density of Monaco). Also, you are constantly reminded that stereotypes are known as stereotypes for a reason and politically correct GP testers can suck on it for being fucking hypocrites. Somehow, I can sympathize with a particular austrian-born dictator with radical views and a kick-ass (as in geneva convention humane ass) dogma, but yeah, you know, oppression and systematically killing many many people is not a nice thing because who's gonna feed the cats when they're dead? (that was sarcasm, the cats, not the genocide)
Also (damn, I'm losing points for using so many "Also"s, but fuck GP anyway, it's over and done with), you're once again striking names out on the list of people that you can maintain confidentiality with because of an inherent need to bitch (which is scientifically proven to be good for your health).
Earth Hour 2010:
To all of your inner-hippies out there, Al gore is a douchebag, global warming is a natural process (we are merely speeding up the process, it's like giving mummy more cigarettes but you know she's gonna die eventually, so why not end off with a great big bang) and it ain't that bad too. Lastly, irony's a bitch, you douchebags killed more trees in your little advertising campaigns than a year's worthed of SME flyers distributed at Bedok Interchange.
Friday, March 26, 2010
A year into service
Okay, it's been about a year since I entered this so called "boy to manhood" phase and so far, all that crap I've been built up to is nothing but bullshit and I'm saying this as a jaded serviceman, not some freshly-into-BMT JC kid. Let's start off with my favourite 3 really misguided public(or rather, my) perceptions based on information I was fed:
1) Tekong is some inhumane WWII Nazi-Germany concentration camp where sergeants are Gestapo personnels who serve you shit in every way possible (diced, steamed braised, chopped, fried, etc) and will take every opportunity to fuck you like Germans when Russians took over Berlin. You do a million push ups a day, sleep 4 hours and you will eat food that'd repulse any starved, malnutrition-ed Haitian 36 hours after an Earthquake.
Reality: That may be true in the past, today, it's like orientation in JC, military style. Instead of having OGLs, you get sergeants and officers (because they're only a year or two older than us), instead of doing cheers, you do push ups. and oh, instead of having females, well, you get this half-male-half-female-because-no-one-really-knows barber, you get the point. Also, you'll lose your voice because of all the singing(and shouting) and like every school ran event, shit hits the fan if someone gets injured/faint so it's really important that people are given the option to "fall out" [pussy out] if they can't take it [i.e. tak boleh tahan]. And oh, food is cooked by professional SFI (Singapore Food Industry) kind aunties and uncles who greet you with a fake smile just so you can tap "Excellent" for food and service which leads (actually, it does not) to a fat little bonus for them to take "cha-cha" lesson in the nearest community centre.
2) People die and it's covered up =O Oh the humanity~
Reality: If there's one thing that NSFs can fuck up well (besides everything they do), they can fuck this up exceptionally well, it is maintaining confidentiality. In this E-era of NSFs, ours is an especially loose-mouthed whiney bunch (guilty) of man-child for a bunch of 19 year olds when juxtaposed to professional soldiers as depicted in Hollywood movies. Perhaps Jack Neo would shed some light on the issue with a new "I not stupid soldier" movie, but lets not talk about that, I just digressed. In a nut shell, we whine like bitches in gossip girls, we bitch about every single injustice we're served on a shit platter on facebook (regarding not receiving their marksmanship incentive), in blogs (evidently, this is one example) or even in the form of a nice little letter to the higher ups (some officer a few years back) about some other guy neglecting his duties. So, if someone were to die in this organization filled by roughly 70% of NSFs, wouldn't we be the first to sell it to STOMP for a pretty lil iPad?
3)No one slacks off in the army because of all the rules in place! You can get charged or even worse, go to DB (Detention Barracks, i.e. Military Jail) exclamation mark.
Reality: If there's one thing being in the army has taught me, it is this, it doesn't pay to be proactive (i.e. Garang, Up, enthusiastic) and responsible. For one, your blood pressure is upped a notch by the sheer the amount of people who skive and run behind the Captains (Medical) in the medical centres to get excuse letters in order to skip training, thereafter, live to gloat and piss off the rest without any repercussions. As stated above, since everyone one of us here is somebody's child in this age-ing population country on par with Japan, and after that incident with this kid dying in the army and having some senior commissioned officer bitch slapped by the grieving parent, our superiors are nothing but pussy-whipped when it comes to deciding if the guy is a conniving work dodging shady slacker or genuinely sick. Furthermore, those who are any competent at all in the work they do are rewarded with, wait for it, EVEN MORE work because of their competence and track record of not-fucking-up! So congratu-fucking-lations mr hardworking, I'm showing your appreciation by giving you even more work to do, make me proud!
So there you have it, 1 year of experience summarized im 3 simple, easy-to-digest summarized bitching about how cheated I felt. Oh and would you look at the time, it's a lovely Friday night, and I'm off to take a C130 where I shall parachute into the hostile territories of Afghanistan and storm a terrorist fort with my assault rifle blazing, lobbing a grenade after another into terrorist infested caves, killing them and making the world a better place....
..
..
not
I'm just going back to my camp, draw a rifle used in the vietnam war with a pathetic amount of ammunition and walk around a really deserted (because it's a friday night) fenced up urban environment which no one is interested in attacking. TGIF (not)
1) Tekong is some inhumane WWII Nazi-Germany concentration camp where sergeants are Gestapo personnels who serve you shit in every way possible (diced, steamed braised, chopped, fried, etc) and will take every opportunity to fuck you like Germans when Russians took over Berlin. You do a million push ups a day, sleep 4 hours and you will eat food that'd repulse any starved, malnutrition-ed Haitian 36 hours after an Earthquake.
Reality: That may be true in the past, today, it's like orientation in JC, military style. Instead of having OGLs, you get sergeants and officers (because they're only a year or two older than us), instead of doing cheers, you do push ups. and oh, instead of having females, well, you get this half-male-half-female-because-no-one-really-knows barber, you get the point. Also, you'll lose your voice because of all the singing(and shouting) and like every school ran event, shit hits the fan if someone gets injured/faint so it's really important that people are given the option to "fall out" [pussy out] if they can't take it [i.e. tak boleh tahan]. And oh, food is cooked by professional SFI (Singapore Food Industry) kind aunties and uncles who greet you with a fake smile just so you can tap "Excellent" for food and service which leads (actually, it does not) to a fat little bonus for them to take "cha-cha" lesson in the nearest community centre.
2) People die and it's covered up =O Oh the humanity~
Reality: If there's one thing that NSFs can fuck up well (besides everything they do), they can fuck this up exceptionally well, it is maintaining confidentiality. In this E-era of NSFs, ours is an especially loose-mouthed whiney bunch (guilty) of man-child for a bunch of 19 year olds when juxtaposed to professional soldiers as depicted in Hollywood movies. Perhaps Jack Neo would shed some light on the issue with a new "I not stupid soldier" movie, but lets not talk about that, I just digressed. In a nut shell, we whine like bitches in gossip girls, we bitch about every single injustice we're served on a shit platter on facebook (regarding not receiving their marksmanship incentive), in blogs (evidently, this is one example) or even in the form of a nice little letter to the higher ups (some officer a few years back) about some other guy neglecting his duties. So, if someone were to die in this organization filled by roughly 70% of NSFs, wouldn't we be the first to sell it to STOMP for a pretty lil iPad?
3)No one slacks off in the army because of all the rules in place! You can get charged or even worse, go to DB (Detention Barracks, i.e. Military Jail) exclamation mark.
Reality: If there's one thing being in the army has taught me, it is this, it doesn't pay to be proactive (i.e. Garang, Up, enthusiastic) and responsible. For one, your blood pressure is upped a notch by the sheer the amount of people who skive and run behind the Captains (Medical) in the medical centres to get excuse letters in order to skip training, thereafter, live to gloat and piss off the rest without any repercussions. As stated above, since everyone one of us here is somebody's child in this age-ing population country on par with Japan, and after that incident with this kid dying in the army and having some senior commissioned officer bitch slapped by the grieving parent, our superiors are nothing but pussy-whipped when it comes to deciding if the guy is a conniving work dodging shady slacker or genuinely sick. Furthermore, those who are any competent at all in the work they do are rewarded with, wait for it, EVEN MORE work because of their competence and track record of not-fucking-up! So congratu-fucking-lations mr hardworking, I'm showing your appreciation by giving you even more work to do, make me proud!
So there you have it, 1 year of experience summarized im 3 simple, easy-to-digest summarized bitching about how cheated I felt. Oh and would you look at the time, it's a lovely Friday night, and I'm off to take a C130 where I shall parachute into the hostile territories of Afghanistan and storm a terrorist fort with my assault rifle blazing, lobbing a grenade after another into terrorist infested caves, killing them and making the world a better place....
..
..
not
I'm just going back to my camp, draw a rifle used in the vietnam war with a pathetic amount of ammunition and walk around a really deserted (because it's a friday night) fenced up urban environment which no one is interested in attacking. TGIF (not)
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